ABDL History and Me

 My history with diaper love started in the mid fifties, I cannot definitively say exactly when or why.  At this point in my life it doesn’t really mater to me although I can and do make assumptions all the time, the fact is that it did indeed take place. These entire fancy theories mean squat really if you have become a diaper lover, adult baby, furry baby, sissy, transgender mommy, daddy, etc…, because it happened and it is a part of your life for better or worse. I've pondered for years wondering why me of all the children I knew in my youth who were put in diapers for bedwetting after the age of four, did it grab so profoundly. In my family I had three male cousins and my little brother who were bed-wetter’s, the family next door had two boys and two girls, four houses up the street a boy of four was still in diapers (who was not retarded), and my mother (who was a professional babysitter for several years) put over a dozen different boys and girls in diapers for naps and bedtime who were four or older. I am positive that there were a great many more in the same circumstances judging by the amount of super-sized plastic pants in the stores of my home town and the ads for stuff like Staydry Panties and other garments in women’s magazines. It was a huge shame for those of us with this problem, back then most mothers had no time or pity for wet beds and let it be known to their children’s shame.

I suffered years of torment and self loathing along with the guilt and shame of being so different from my peers. There was just this overpowering need and desire to wear first plastic pants then diapers with them and later girl’s clothes too. I pored though ever book at the school library and found nothing to suggest that there were others out there with the same problems. I had no one to relate to or discuss it with but it would not die.


In 1970 I met my future wife and the first night told her all of it, she didn’t say anything about it or condemn me for it she just listened. I had no idea how she would feel about it but I had to be honest with her. I hoped I wasn’t going to lose her over it but it just wouldn’t have been right to keep it from her. She accepted me despite my frailties; we started living together and were married two years later.  Our marriage ended in 2007 with her accidental death and she was loyal to me to the end.

I took her on the road with me hitchhiking up the coast to Frisco and later all the way to the Portland; we crisscrossed the state several times in our first year together living, a bohemian lifestyle and getting to know each other. I feel lucky to have found someone who was so kind, loving and loyal to have spent my life with, I just wish now that I was as loyal to her as I should have been. After we were married in her home state of West Virginia, I joined the Army to do my part for my country and I was stationed in North Carolina in 1973.


I had been wearing diapers at night since we met whenever it was possible but I still felt alone with them. One night when out with two of my friends smoking weed and bar hopping one of them wanted to stop at an adult bookstore; so I pulled in and we perused the store, (my first visit to one). Imagine my confusion and shock after all this time to see a couple of magazines on the shelf with girls in diapers. One was called Rubber Life the other Rubber Nurse, sister publications; I felt weak at the knees yet excited, I wanted to dash over and snatch them off the shelves. But what would my friends think not to mention the rest of the base. I felt it would spread like wildfire if it got out. So I bid my time took them back to the barracks, slipped back out later where I returned and bought a copy of each magazine. 1974 was the year I discovered that there were others out there, this was the beginning of a new awareness and longing to talk and meet other people with a similar wants and needs.

A lot of vendors have made their presence felt and others have faded out for different reasons. In my humble opinion, there should be a place for those who have advanced the genre into the 21 century. There has been a lot of important contributors’ to the community which before they are forgotten needs to be immortalized I realize that their privacy must be not be compromised and that there is a lot I don’t know that needs to be included but a place needs to be created for this. Our history needs to be respected and remembered! I would volunteer to write it up, but I would rather not do it alone, after all No man is an Island.